so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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