obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
