wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
