and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
