I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
