You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
