Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
