4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hate all girls vehemently.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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