Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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