I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
