if i can run in heels then i can drive
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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