It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
