I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
