My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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