Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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