you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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