I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
