It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
