i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
