My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
