Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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