So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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