Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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