of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
