He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
