i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
