Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
