I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
