There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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