so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
