i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
