brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Are we still banned from the library?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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