can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
