My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
