arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize