You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
