I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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