worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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