You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The feeling are messing with the penis
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
