I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm getting married
To pizza
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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