God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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