Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
