Can Purell be used as lube?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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