You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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