I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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