so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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