oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
