I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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