You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
