What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
