I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
