I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize