are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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