so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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