? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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