Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
