What did we do last night that was yellow?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
