This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just pee around me
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
