i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
