The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
