Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My balls are so social today.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
