Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
