i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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