Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
and she was petting her beer can
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
