oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
